


I'm Sorry, I Was Drunk Last Time. Who Are You Again?

by Tenneo



Category: Nine Percent, 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Convenience Store, Comedy, Crack, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Justin and Zhengting are gonna show up later, M/M, past Zhu Xingjie/Zhou Rui
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-17 07:51:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14184312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenneo/pseuds/Tenneo
Summary: Xiao Gui's friends force him to strap on a GoPro to see what he gets up to every time he goes missing when they go out and they can't find him for hours and hours.Bu Fan is just trying to get his shift done so he can go home. But who's this drunk asshole who always shows up five minutes until closing and makes a mess everytime?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes this is a mess. But at least I'm publishing it! Let me know if you liked it by leaving kudos or a comment! This is my second ever fanfic, so if there's mistakes then my excuse is that I'm a newbie.

Xiao Gui raked a finger through his dreads one more time before glancing down and staring at the GoPro strapped to his wrist with skepticism. “Why do I need his again?”

 

Yanchen leaned back, satisfied that the Gopro was secure in its position. He rolled his eyes. “Are you really asking me that? Let’s just put it this way. If you don't wear this tonight, then we’re never taking you with us on another night out. Ever again.” 

 

Xiao Gui knew he didn't mean it. Probably. But it didn't hurt to be sure. So, with a shrug of his shoulders, he decided to drop it. However, feelings of unfairness still simmered in his temper, so he couldn’t help but mumble one last complaint. “I’m honestly not that bad. I don't know why you guys are making such a big deal out of it!” 

 

As soon as he had those words out of his mouth, a thick mass of fluttering pages sailed by his head and with a resounding  _ THUMP!  _ hit the wall opposite him. Xiao Gui turned to see Xingjie sit up sharply from where he had been lounging on the bed and settle his features into an expression that could be described as murderous. Fear clenched Xiao Gui’s heart. That was never a good expression.

 

“Not bad?” hissed Xingjie. “Not bad?” he repeated, voice rising. “Dude. You’ve literally ran off on us the last 5 times we’ve taken you out. We spent hours trying to find you, only for you to come waltzing back in like nothing was wrong, and you have the gall to call yourself _ not even that bad? _ ” Xingjie was nearly shouting.

 

Xiao Gui sent a pleading look to Yanchen, hoping to find some support. To his disdain, he found Yanchen nodding enthusiastically along to what Xingjie was saying. “Yeah.” Yanchen started. “The first time, we thought it was funny. You came back with your hair full of plastic forks. The second time, you were soaking wet. But this last time, oh does this ever take the cake completely.”

 

Xiao Gui wrinkled his nose in confusion. “Why? What did I do? Did I bring some sleazy guy back to my apartment?”

 

Xingjie came over and smacked the back of Xiao Gui’s head. “You know what? I almost wish we weren't friends.” before Xiao Gui could get a word of protest out, he continued. “I have no idea what you did. If I did, I wouldn't have gone and borrowed Rui’s GoPro like this”

 

Xiao Gui ears perked up at the mention of Rui. Zhou Rui. An older friend of Xingjie and Yanchen that he didn’t know well. Yanchen and Xinjie spoke of him often, familiarity and fondness colouring their voices. He was a singer wasn’t he? “Oh right.” Xiao Gui started. “Aren’t you friends with Rui from back in the days you were trying to be a singer? Whatever happened to that? And why do I need a Go-- Ow!” Xiao Gui was interrupted by a second smack to the head.

 

“We were talking about something more important. Not Rui and me.” Hissed Xingjie. “And the  _ reason _ that you  _ need a GoPro _ is because you  _ fucking got dropped off at home by a squad car! _ ” Xingjie seethed. 

 

“Huh.” mused Xiao Gui. “That’s pretty wild, I agree.” Xiao Gui should have stopped there. But unfortunately, he didn't know when to shut up. “But I don't see the point in wearing a GoPro the whole time! What if I want to home with some cute fresh thing? What about in the bathroom? I'm pretty sure that’s illegal.”

 

“Enough!” Roared Xingjie. “You’re going to wear the GoPro the whole time, no more questions!” His eyes darkened as he continued, his voice dropping into a threatening timber. "And I swear upon my grandmother’s grave. If you so much as touch the GoPro, I'll light your precious hair on fire and burn it off your head."

 

Palms clammy, Xiao Gui tentatively reached up to place a protective hand over his hair. Terror seeped into every fiber of his being. Xingjie would definitely follow through on that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xiao Gui finds out he's made a mistake.

It was about half a week before they finally sat down to check the GoPro.

  
“Do you actually dare to watch this?” Asked Yanchen, fiddling with the mouse as he waited for the files to upload to the computer. “What if it's worse than we thought? What if we see something that we don't want to see?”

 

Xiao Gui scoffed. “Come on you guys. Don't you have any faith in me?”

 

Xingjie answered that with a solid gagging noise. “You're seriously doing that again?” He leaned forward as the files completed, and directed Yanchen to play the files. “Don't worry, we'll only judge you slightly more than normal.”

 

The trio sat in silence for a bit, watching Xiao Gui and friends leave the apartment and arrive at the club. Irritated, Xingjie skipped ahead, since “It’s not like we didn't know who and what you were messing up for the first hour.” About one and a half hours into the footage, things started to change.

 

“Hey! Look guys!” Xiao Gui exclaimed. “I'm not in the club anymore!”

 

“No shit, Sherlock.” Groaned Xingjie. They watched quietly for a bit longer, perplexed.

 

“Where is he going even?” Wondered Yanchen. “I think it's been like seven minutes since he left the club, and he's just walking.”

 

“I'm not sure.” Xingjie responded. “Let's watch at double the speed, and slow it down when he finally gets wherever he's going”

 

Xiao Gui scrunched his face up in disgust. “Can you guys not talk about me like I'm not here. I'm literally sitting between you guys.”

 

“Yanchen bro, why do we even bother putting up with this guy?” Xingjie gestured to the camera holder on screen. “I honestly think he's more trouble than he's worth."

 

“I don't know, bro.”

 

“Should we ditch him?”

 

“Yes, definitely.”

 

Xiao Gui was about to retaliate by cussing one of them out, but stopped himself. Not because he didn't want to or anything, but because the screen had drastically changed. “Wait guys! Go back a few seconds, I think something started.”

 

The two were startled out of their passive aggressive Gui-dissing game and both returned their eyes to the screen. Yanchen paused, backed up a few seconds and played it at a normal speed.

 

Xiao Gui watched, breathless, not wanting to miss a thing. Who wouldn't want to know exactly what kind of mischief they got up to when they got so turnt up they didn't remember it afterwards?

 

They watched as he sauntered into a brightly lit building, the camera shaking back and forth in a dizzying motion. Yanchen paused for a second “Wait, let's turn the volume up” they resumed to hear a drunken Xiao Gui hollering at the top of his lungs.

 

“Yooooo errybody in the house!”

 

The trio watched with varying degrees of amusement as Xiao Gui’s camera started wobbling in a manner that could only indicate one thing.

 

“Dude you suck at dancing”

 

“Hey!” Whimpered Xiao Gui, defending himself. “That's not a fair assessment, I'm very drunk there”

 

“Yeah, but you dance the same whether or not you're drunk. I'd call it a talent, but it looks awful so I'm not going to.” Xingjie said, Yanchen smirking in agreement.

 

Xiao Gui leaned over and pressed play again, annoyed that Yanchen had paused it for such a disrespectful reason.

 

“Okay, I thought you went to a club, because there was music and stuff, but that's totally a convenience store, right?” Yanchen pointed out. “I highly doubt that music at a club would be so muffled, or that they would use a rack of chips as decoration.”

 

Xiao Gui facepalmed for what was not going to the last time. “Crap. You think I went and made a fool of myself in a convenience store?”

 

“Oh I don't think so, I know so.” Xingjie answered. “Shush now, it's hard to understand what you're saying.”

 

They returned to the screen version of Gui and listened hard as Xiao Gui mumbled. But there was no point in listening so intently, for the next second he began shouting.

 

“I LOVE NACHOS THEY ARE THE PINNACLE OF HUMAN INVENTION!”

 

“Please sir can you allow me to clean the machine? It's already been turned off for the night” A deeper voice grumbled, surprising both on-screen and viewer Xiao Gui.

 

“N-NO I REFUSE!” The camera shook wildly as drunk Xiao Gui pointed an accusatory finger at the unfortunate employee he was blocking. “DON’T THINK I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO. I WILL NOT LEAVE THESE NACHOS DEFENSELESS FROM EVIL PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SABOTAGE THE CHEESE DISPENSER ”

 

“Can you just move? I just want to get this done so I can go home.” The very done sounding voice’s words seemed to scold drunken Gui and quiet him down. And as he stopped jittering, the view on the camera stopped moving.

 

“Oh fuck he's hot.” Moaned Xiao Gui, feeling physical pain at his life decisions. He watched the drunk Xiao Gui start jittering again.

 

“ONLY IF YOU BEG ME”

 

“I-If I- What?” Stuttered the _extremely tall and handsome_ employee. “What?”

 

“I’M JUST JOKING YOU KNOW I’D LET YOU BE MY MACK DADDY”

 

And with that, Xiao Gui’s hand darted out and hit the power off button on the computer.

 

The three sat, dead silent as they processed exactly what they had just seen.

 

No one said anything for a solid minute.

 

“Wow, that was really embarrassing to watch.” Yanchen grimaced, finally breaking their stupor. “I'm getting second hand cringe, and I wasn't even there.”

 

Xingjie offered a consoling head pat as Xiao Gui hunched forward and put his head in his hands. “I know, Yanchen. I know.”

 

“I think I'm going to die, guys.” moaned Xiao Gui. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M YELLING XIAO GUI WHY ARE U LIKE THIS


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xiao Gui has a bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently physics class makes me very focused. Not on the right things, but i guess here's another chapter for u

Xiao Gui had finally forgotten his dark past, thank you very much.

 

Okay, it had only been two days since he and his friends watched Xiao Gui make an absolute embarrassment of himself, but he really _did not_ want to think about it.

 

Xiao Gui couldn't help but think about it.

 

Xingjie had forced to them to watch the last thirty minutes of the video, but nothing happened except for Xiao Gui sprinting out of the store, screeching. Xiao Gui was glad nothing worse had happened, but he was mortified that he had gone and done that.

 

He let out a strangled whine, wincing as a crotchety looking old lady in a mustard yellow coat gave him a death glare before returning to perusing the “oldies but goldies” section of the shelf.

 

He bowed a quick apology and returned to putting the price stickers onto the CD cases, front and center. Trying to distract himself from his own thoughts, Xiao Gui examines the CD he was holding more closely.

 

Zhou Rui: Fresh Awakenings. The silhouette of a face in side profile in a blue background.

 

He rolled his eyes and decided the reason he was putting a fifty percent off discount sticker on it was due to the odd title; no one would buy a CD with that title and such bland cover art.

 

A realization struck him, and he did a double take. _Zhou Rui? Was it the same Zhou Rui that his geges liked to hang out with?_

 

His pondering was interrupted as the old lady slammed a stack of records onto the counter to the left from him. Xiao Gui hurriedly pushed his price-sticker work out of the way and nervously checked each record to ensure her carelessness hadn't broken them.

 

Jaw tense with a restrained anger at the lady's treatment of the music, Xiao Gui gave his best attempt at a smile and started ringing up the lady's purchases.

 

“That'll be three hundred yuan please.”

 

The lady stared down her thin spectacles. “I won't pay that much! Give me a discount!”

 

Xiao Gui sighed, and cursed under his breath. He hated this kind of customer. “I'm sorry ma’am, but these are already on discount, so I can't do much for you.”

 

The little lady became agitated, exactly the thing Xiao Gui had hoped to avoid. “But this price is ridiculous!” She shouted. “I can buy lunch for four weeks at that price!”

 

“Okay, but these aren't something you can eat.” Xiao Gui tried to reason. “These are basically antiques, and hard to come by. You can't buy these records anywhere else in this city, so I think the price is very reasonable.”

 

The lady wasn't having of it. “That's ridiculous. The store owner always lets me have them for a discount. Who's the owner? Tell him he needs to come here now and let me buy these.”

 

Xiao Gui was taken aback at the lady’s stupidity, and snapped. “Oh come on, you hag!” The lady shut up, a look of disdain on her face. “If you don't want to pay for them, don't even come in the store. Or if you want it to be cheaper, put some of these records back! Do you honestly think you could buy ten at a time and have them be cheap?! Fuck, you're retarded.”

 

Unfortunately for Xiao Gui, it was at that very moment that the store owner walked in.

 

~~~

 

Xiao Gui sprinted down the street, his bag bouncing as he rounded the corner. He had been scolded by his boss at the end of his shift, and as a result he was now ten minutes later than he usually was. He was even given a warning. If the boss caught him being so blatantly rude to customers again, he was going to have to let him go. Where was the fairness in that? Xiao Gui was the most musically knowledgable person who had ever worked in the store. If only that lady hadn't come in and ruined his day.

 

Xiao Gui cursed at the thought of the rude lady. He was the worst at dealing with that kind of customer. 

 

Xiao Gui saw the bus pull up to the stop, and sped up in desperation. He was a block away, he could probably make it if they waited just a bit--

 

He didn't make it.

 

Xiao Gui nearly teared up in frustration as he slumped to sit down on the bus stop bench. First his job was being threatened and now this? If he had been just a few minutes earlier, he could have made it.

 

His chest heaved, and he struggled to catch his breath, hating his own wasted efforts. It wasn't that long before his breath quietened and he had enough energy to stand up again. It surprised Xiao Gui a little bit, since he had no clue where the extra stamina came from.

 

Xiao Gui turned on his phone again. 8:30pm. It would be another half hour before the next bus came around, and Xiao Gui was kidding himself if he thought he was going to sit around waiting that whole time.

 

Parched from his run, Xiao Gui turned around, going to his usual convenience store.

 

Locked. What? Xiao Gui jiggled the handle a bit before looking up and at the paper on the door. “Closed for renovations.” the sign announced, mockingly. Frustrated, Xiao Gui looked around, internally proclaiming he would never purchase anything from that inconvenience store ever again.

 

He was glad to see that there was another store just across the street. He waited for the sign to change, and happily skipped across as he anticipated a nice chilled drink.

 

Xiao Gui entered the store, a chime announcing it. “Welcome.” Greeted the employee at the register, something off about their voice. A thought niggled at the back of Xiao Gui’s mind, but he was too preoccupied with making a beeline for the drink cooler at the back of the store to give it much attention.

 

He grabbed a lychee soft drink and a bottle of coke, and a bag of chips for good measure. Xiao Gui wasn't about to let his wait for the bus be an unpleasant one.

 

Xiao Gui set his items down, dumping a handful of pocket change. Only to be met with an indignant exclamation. “How come you only ever have coins on you?”

 

Xiao Gui froze. That voice sounded… familiar. Xiao Gui slowly allowed his eyes to wander upwards. Up and up and up. Until he made eye contact with one of the most handsome and tall people he had ever met.

 

He knew that face. And Xiao Gui panicked, flinging coins everywhere, grabbing his stuff and whipping around to leave.

 

“Hey. Wait!”

 

Xiao Gui did not wait.

 

He ran out of the store screeching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope u enjoyed it 
> 
> Poor Xiao Gui I'm not done making him suffer


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xiao Gui prepares for battle. Or not. I just wanted to say that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy another chapter

  
It was the next day, a quiet and sleepy Saturday, but Xiao Gui still hadn't collected his thoughts yet. He sat up, wincing as the painfully bright sunlight filtered in the window. He heard a clinking come from the kitchen, and curiosity prompts him out of bed. Checks the clock. 10:30 AM.

 

He slowly drags on grey sweats and a black T-shirt, scraping his dreads upwards and out of his eyes. He nearly trips over his blanket, which has somehow made its way to the floor during the night. He kicks it out of the way, revealing the stained grey carpet underneath.

 

He stumbles out of his room into the living room. Xingjie and Yanchen are sitting at _his_ table, eating _his_ food.

 

“Aish,” Xiao Gui complained. “Don't you two have your own apartment? What are you doing here so early. How did you get in?”

 

Xingjie spun a key around his pinky finger, drinking his glass of orange juice with the other hand. “Yo, don't tell me you forgot. I've been hanging on to your spare ever since you locked yourself out and had to get your locks changed.”

 

“Fair enough.” Xiao Gui grumbled. He looked at Yanchen who was happily eating. “And you, why are you here?”

 

Yanchen set down his fork and pushed his omelette away from him. “Thank you for the meal. Maybe go a little lighter on the salt next time.” He turned to Xiao Gui, who was shaking his head at their utter disrespect for his personal property. “And the reason we're here,” He said, grinning “Is because you sent me a text at midnight saying that you were going to die of embarrassment. There's no way we'd let you move on without hearing all the details.” He leaned forward, an eager expression on his face. “So tell us. What happened to you yesterday that screwed you over so badly?”

 

Xiao Gui walked to the fridge and pulled out some leftover pizza. He flopped down on the chair to Xingjie. He let out a long sigh.

 

“Rough day?” Mumbled Xingjie through a mouthful of toast. Xiao Gui smacked him for talking with his mouth full, before complaining again,

 

“Like you wouldn't believe.”

 

Xiao Gui quickly related his day up to the point where he missed the bus. He paused, unsure how to continue.

 

Xingjie patted his back in sympathy, grimacing at the tale. “Ouch, sounds awful. That old lady should get shot and pissed on.”

 

“Xingjie!” Called Yanchen in mild horror. “Watch your language!” Yanchen grimaced in reaction to Xingjie, but his eyes still implored Xiao Gui for more. “Is that it? You still seem like you have something to say.”

 

Xiao Gui groaned at Yanchen’s intuitiveness. “You're right, I'm not done.”

 

“There's more? That's right, you still haven't told us what part was embarrassing. Which is..?” Xingjie pressed.

 

“So I might have found out where I went last Friday.” Xiao Gui muttered.

 

Xingjie raised his eyebrows in interest. “Okay, you mean the place where you went and proclaimed your love of nachos? Did you go downtown after work?”

 

“That one. And the same person was at the register. And no, I didn't go downtown. It was right at my bus station.”

 

The two two were silent for a second, as they processed what Xiao Gui had said.

 

Xingjie was the first to react, explosively. “Like literally what the fuck?! You work like five kilometres from The Rouge! No wonder you seemed like you were walking forever and ever on the video!”

 

“Did he try to go to work..?” Mused Yanchen.

 

It took a few minutes to get his friends to shut up. Xiao Gui wanted nothing more than to drop it. Why he had bothered mentioning it in the first place, he would never know.

 

“So what are you going to do about it?” Yanchen asked. Xiao Gui had been dreading this question. He sat in silence, staring at the wall. “Hey,” asked Yanchen again. “You need to do take action, you can't just choose to ignore this forever and ever like you usually do.”

 

Xiao Gui twisted around in his chair, an exasperated expression on his face. “And how do you propose I go about that? Do you have any idea how I feel? I'm literally sick with embarrassment, and have no idea how to talk with that cashier. He's like an actor, with that face, and I'm just the drunk asshole from a week ago!”

 

He hit his head against the table repeatedly, only stopping when Xingjie slid a plate of toast between his head and the table. “And he was all like ‘how come you only ever have coins on you’ so I think that I've gone there before, except last time I was there I was drunk, and we all saw I didn't buy anything, so I guess that means I've been there before, maybe a few times, so how can you expect me to go back there ever again?” ramble-yelled Xiao Gui.

 

“I don't really know, but I still think you should go apologize. If you really have been there several times like you think you might've, then that poor guy has been putting up with you this whole time.” Yanchen reasoned.

 

I'll tell you what,” said Xingjie. “Let's try the GoPro one more time. If you go right to that convenience store one more time, then you need to man up and go make things right.”

 

Xiao Gui winced. “But it's so embarrassing…” He moaned. “Can't I just pretend that I never went there to begin with?

 

Xingjie scoffed. “And never go out to have fun again? That would be so boring.” He stabbed a finger in Xiao Gui’s direction, was. “We need to get that employee apologized to, and figure out what to do to keep you from going back there.”

 

“You mean you still want me to come with you guys?” Xiao Gui questioned, surprised. “I thought it would be too much of a pain.”

 

“Oh come on man. Do you think we're that kind of people?” Xingjie rolled his eyes. “You're our bro, of course we want you with us.”

 

Yanchen bobbed his head in agreement. “We've been a group since high school, it would feel weird if we suddenly stopped making plans together just because of this one small thing.”

 

Xiao Gui felt touched. Yanchen was right. Even when Yanchen went into university and Xingjie joined an entertainment company, they still stayed together. Even when Xiao Gui had to leave school when he no longer qualified for his scholarship. “Aw, thank you guys.” intoned Xiao Gui. “I really appreciate everything you guys do. I don't know where I'd be if you two didn't show up.”

 

This could have been an emotional moment, if Xingjie hadn't decided to ruin it. “Alright,” he barked briskly. “Too sappy, let's drop it.”

 

Yanchen furrowed his brow. “Come on Xingjie. You've never been one for sentimentality, have you?”

 

Xingjie jutted out his chin in defiance. “Nope. And I'm not about to start.”

 

Xiao Gui chucked. “You two never change.” Sensing that a topic change was needed, he offered up some new plans. “So is everyone busy tomorrow night? Yanchen, how's your term paper coming along?”

 

Yanchen grinned cheekily. “I got that done two days ago.”

 

“Dude, what the fuck.” accosted Xingjie. “You were literally dying on Monday, saying you had so much to do, and that you were never going to get it done. What happened to that?”

 

“And did you see me for the entire rest of the day, or the day after?”

 

Xingjie frowned. “You've got me there. I didn't. Did you even sleep? You didn't need to work that hard, the due date’s in a week.”

 

“What can I say? I wanted to get it done.”

 

“Alright, alright.” Xiao Gui interrupted. “We get it, Yanchen, you're a try-hard. Now, what about that plan to go get hammered tomorrow? In celebration of Yanchen being done his paper early.”

 

Xingjie and Yanchen looked at each other, then back to Xiao Gui. “We're in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to make my chapters longer, so this one might seem a little bit drawn out. 
> 
> Did you enjoy reading? Please leave kudos or a comment, they're literally so inspiring.


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